Insecurity messes with your confidence. It makes you second-guess yourself, question how others see you, and hold back when you should be stepping forward. Have you ever wondered, Why do I feel like I’m not good enough? Or asked yourself, How insecure are you when you need constant reassurance? Many people feel the same way. Most people feel this way at some point. The good news is that it’s possible to change.
A 2019 study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that people with higher self-esteem tend to have better mental health, more stable relationships, and lower levels of anxiety. That means working on your insecurity can improve a lot more than just your self-image, it can shape your entire life.
This guide breaks down 15 realistic ways on how to stop being insecure. No fluff. No toxic positivity. Just practical tips that help you deal with insecurity and build real confidence over time.
First, Why Are You Insecure?
Before you can fix insecurity, you need to understand where it comes from. Most of the time, insecurity isn’t random. It’s learned.
You Compare Yourself Constantly
Social media doesn’t help. You scroll through someone else’s highlight reel and start thinking your regular life doesn’t measure up. That comparison game leads to self-doubt.
You Grew Up Around Criticism
Maybe you had parents or teachers who were always pointing out what you did wrong. That early messaging sticks and becomes your inner voice later in life.
You’ve Been Rejected or Hurt
If you’ve gone through toxic relationships, breakups, bullying, or trauma, it’s natural to question your worth. That pain often shows up as insecurity.
You Tie Your Worth to Results
Perfectionism can quietly destroy your self-esteem. When you only feel “good enough” if you succeed, failure hits hard, and fuels more insecurity.
Once you understand what’s feeding the insecurity, you can start changing how you respond to it.
15 Ways to Stop Being Insecure (That Actually Work)
Let’s get into the real reason you’re here: how to stop being insecure in a way that feels doable. Here are 15 ways that actually help, one step at a time.
1. Start Noticing Your Triggers
Pay attention to what makes you feel insecure. Is it certain people? Specific situations? Your reflection? Your job? Once you spot patterns, you’ll feel more in control.
Journaling helps. Just write down what happened, what you felt, and what thoughts popped up. This gives you insight into where the insecurity starts.
2. Talk Back to Your Inner Critic
You know that voice in your head that says you’re not smart enough, attractive enough, or successful enough? That’s not truth. That’s old programming.
When that voice shows up, don’t just accept it. Ask:
- Is this true?
- Is there proof?
- What would I tell a friend in this situation?
This is one of the most direct ways to deal with insecurity in daily life.
3. Limit How Much You Compare Yourself to Others
You don’t need to keep measuring your life against someone else’s. That’s a trap. What you see online is edited, filtered, and carefully posted. It’s not reality.
Mute or unfollow accounts that make you feel bad. Follow people who keep it real and talk about their struggles too.
4. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
One big way to be less insecure is to stop trying to be perfect. Progress is what builds confidence. Even small wins count.
Set goals based on effort, not outcomes. You showed up for the workout? That’s progress. You spoke up even if you were nervous? That’s growth.
5. Practice Saying What You Really Think
People who are insecure often hide their opinions to avoid conflict or rejection. Start practicing honesty in low-stakes situations. Say what you think, even if it feels awkward.
This builds confidence because you’re proving to yourself that your voice matters.
6. Set Stronger Boundaries
If you’re always people-pleasing or tolerating behavior that drains you, insecurity thrives. Learning to say no helps you reclaim your space and self-respect.
Boundaries aren’t rude. They’re how you protect your peace and energy.
7. Do Stuff That Makes You Feel Competent
Insecurity fades when you feel capable. Pick one skill and start building it. This can be anything, writing, cooking, coding, fixing bikes. The point is to prove to yourself that you can learn, improve, and succeed.
Skill-building is one of the most effective long-term ways to stop being insecure.
8. Accept Compliments Without Deflecting
If someone says, “You did great,” and you respond with, “It was nothing,” that’s insecurity talking. Practice just saying “thank you” and leaving it there.
It might feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, you’ll start to believe the good things people say about you.
9. Own Your Mistakes Without Beating Yourself Up
Everyone screws up. Insecure people dwell on mistakes and let them define their self-worth. Confident people learn from them and move on.
The next time you mess up, try this:
- Acknowledge it
- Ask what you learned
- Remind yourself that mistakes don’t make you less worthy
10. Spend Time With People Who Make You Feel Safe
If your social circle is full of people who judge, criticize, or compete with you, it’s no wonder you feel insecure. Make space for relationships that are honest, kind, and encouraging.
The right people reflect your value back to you.
11. Don’t Chase Approval
If you’re always asking, “Do they like me?” flip it to, “Do I like them?” Approval-seeking keeps you stuck in insecurity. Start checking in with what you think about people, situations, and choices.
You don’t need everyone to like you. You just need to like yourself.
12. Focus on Your Strengths
Everyone has weaknesses, but that’s not where you should live. Make a list of your strengths. Things people often compliment you on. Skills that come naturally to you. Traits you like about yourself.
Review that list often. It’s not ego, it’s awareness.
13. Move Your Body (Even Just a Little)
Exercise isn’t just about fitness. It’s a proven mood booster. It reduces anxiety, lifts your confidence, and helps you reconnect with your body.
You don’t need to become a gym rat. A walk, a short stretch, or a dance session in your room counts.
14. Reframe What Failure Means
Most insecurity comes from a fear of failure. But what if failure wasn’t proof that you’re not enough? What if it was just part of learning?
Start thinking of failure as feedback. If something doesn’t go right, ask: What’s this teaching me?
15. Talk to a Therapist If You Need To
There’s no shame in asking for help. If your insecurity is deep-rooted, maybe from trauma, abuse, or anxiety, a licensed therapist can help you work through it.
You don’t have to carry everything alone. Therapy gives you tools and support to build real, lasting confidence.
Confidence Doesn’t Happen Overnight
The truth is, learning how to stop being insecure means letting go of the idea that confidence happens instantly or all at once. It’s about learning how to live with less fear, more self-respect, and more peace in your own skin.
You’re not broken. You’re just human. And you have every right to grow, take up space, and feel good about who you are.
Practice these 15 ways consistently. Check in with yourself. Give it time. The confidence you’re looking for comes from doing the work, not from being perfect.